HEY GUYS

 Remember that cute little house with the blue shutters that I thought would never be ours?

WE GOT IT.

Miracle of miracles!

I shall have a pantry and a linen closet and a washing machine!

And the baby shall have a room of his very own,

to which he says:

Oh yes he does.

ps: Ryan is indeed "Tebow-ing" in that bottom photo, if anyone was curious. THAT'S HOW EXCITING THESE TIMES ARE.

the cutest little wedding

We're back in town after a happy weekend away. Ryan's younger brother, Jason, got married over the weekend to Kaili, his high school sweetheart. The two of them started dating right around the same time Ryan and I did, which means they've been dating forever. So even though it felt like Kaili was part of the family already, it's nice to have it be official. And I'm excited to have another sister! They planned the sweetest little country wedding, and we had the best time. I'm kicking myself now for not taking more pictures. Especially of her gorgeous flowers and all the tiny details.

And man, it felt so good to get out of Milwaukee for a while and spend time with Ryan's side of the family in slower-paced parts of the state. It's been hard to get back into the swing of things now that we're home. (I don't want to do the dishes...) The king sized bed in our hotel room didn't help things. There's so much room to roll over on those puppies. My hips were thankful.

Little baby boy got lots of love over the weekend, too. Between all of Ryan's aunts and cousins and grandmas, the tally on belly rubs was quite high, and I didn't mind one bit. Rub away, people! Heaven knows I can't resist it either.

Happy marriage, Jason and Kaili! You're wonderful, and we love you both.

it's a . . .

boy!

boy oh boy!

(looks like someone's gonna have to toughen up.)

16 weeks

Our story begins yesterday afternoon, at approximately 12:05pm, when I remembered I had scheduled my 16 week OB appointment at 12:15pm during Ryan's lunch hour that day. The problem was, I was still in my pajamas, and about to dig into a large bowl of soup. After quickly calling Ryan, and a minor meltdown, (OKAY FINE I CRIED) ((MY EMOTIONS)) I called the doctor's office to explain the situation. Turns out it wasn't a big deal at all -- my appointment was easily rescheduled for 3:00pm. Except the big deal is that I turn into a blubbering, floppy mess on appointment days, and it causes me to forget important things, like the actual appointment itself. Get yourself together, Amelia! is what I'm trying to remind myself. 

But what I'm really trying to do here is tell you about the appointment, because it went well! I'm measuring right on time, and that baby's heartbeat sounded so good. Those blasted nurses never let me listen long enough. And do you want to hear something divine? It was suggested unto me by the nurse that I begin eating about 300 more calories each day, to fatten up this goose of a baby. Later the doctor came in and said my weight was fine, and I should just eat what I feel like. I've decided to listen to them both: I feel like eating about 300 more calories per day, doc. I'm not taking any chances. I'd like a baby with extra thigh rolls, please. Observe:

(Of course I won't always be eating fast food to supplement my diet. Not always.)

Anyway, we're usually in quite the mood after hearing our sweet baby's heartbeat. Joy abounds! We do crazy things like this:

We're a pretty thankful family over here right now. Grow baby, grow!

let's talk baby

Now that you all know the real reason why I haven't been blogging regularly since March (I've been in sleepytown and am sloooowly emerging,) shall we discuss it?

Let me begin by saying that we wanted this baby so, so badly. It was only hours, or maybe only minutes after our first baby was born that I said to Ryan, "Can we try again right away?" And we did. I impatiently waited for what felt like forever (it was only a few months, really) ((remember this post about the loss of my first baby? I was pregnant then, and didn't know it)) but we found out we were expecting another on Ryan's birthday. He was in the shower when I took the test. It wasn't the first test I had taken that month and I didn't feel too confident, so I set it on the sink and...forgot about it. I was making breakfast in the kitchen when Ryan came into the room with a grin. And, oh, did I ever cry.

We feel so differently about this pregnancy. I think this time around I truly realize what a blessing it is to be able to have a baby. I know how sweet and perfect and wonderful a baby of my very own is, no matter now big it grows. It's a miracle! It's a life. I am so thankful for it. And I'm constantly pleading with God to let me keep it.

I find myself sympathizing with women who struggle with having babies. Whether it's a woman who can't get pregnant completely naturally, or a woman who can't have children at all, I relate to each one. I know my situation is different - I don't seem to have any trouble getting pregnant. But while some women worry if they'll ever make a baby, I'm the one worrying if I'll ever be able to carry a baby past 20 weeks. My worries keep me up at night. They cause me to call my mom in tears. They hinder me from making too many plans and preparations for this new baby. Just in case. I envy the couples who have blissful pregnancies from start to finish. I feel sorry for myself that I know I'll never be pregnant without a nagging fear of suddenly losing the baby. I don't want it to be that way. It's difficult. Guys. It's difficult!

But, I don't want to give the impression that the only emotion I've experienced during this pregnancy so far is fear. I am so happy. So excited. So hopeful. I have a wonderful doctor who is watching baby closely, and doing everything he can to make me comfortable and at ease. Really, the guy is great. I'll tell anyone who listens how much I love him. I see him every two weeks, and hear the baby's heartbeat at each visit. I'm usually a nervous, high-blood pressured wreck every time, and then - the doppler hits my belly, the little whomp-whomps pierce the tense air, and I feel sweet relief.

Now let's talk stats: I'm 15 weeks along. Baby is due October 24th, and, according to the books, is the size of a navel orange. Thankfully, this pregnancy is proving to be a little easier in the symptoms department. I have nausea and fatigue in the evenings, but nothing has ever gotten too intense. However- if you ever force feed me whole grain mustard, I will barf on you. (Such a shame. I used to love mustard.)

I wanted to thank all of you for your excitement and kind comments yesterday. Especially for your prayers. I wish you all knew how much that means to me. It makes me feel strong! And of course, I can't write a baby post without giving some (No, more than some. TONS OF) love to Ryan. I've been pregnant on and off for 9 of the past 12 months, and emotionally unstable for all of them. Not once has he been anything but wonderful and supportive and comforting and funny and loving and sweet. He's so excited that we're having another baby, and he tells me all the time. We're both so thankful. And we're happy to be this baby's momma and daddy, for as long as God lets us.

happy tuesday

Spring sprang today.

Everything outside was warm and melty and dripping.

I took two long walks, bought myself some flowers, 

and made peanut butter chocolate chip oatmeal cookies (oh yes I did.)

Now it's dark and Ryan and I are happy and stuffed

from a crockpot supper.

Happy Tuesday, indeed.

a happy surprise

Let me start by saying this: I'd like to think that if I ever met Natalie and her family someday, I'd be able to say, "Holbs, this is Ryan. He, too, grows a red beard! You'll get along fine." And while those two talked, I would give Nat a big hug, followed by an enthusiastic (but gentle) pinch on little Huck's fat cheek. See, I've been reading Nat the Fat Rat for so long now that I think we're bosom friends, despite never meeting her, ever. This girl writes beautifully. She makes things magical. Most importantly, she understands that Meg Ryan movies are probably the best of them all.

Yesterday I discovered that not only has Nat been reading my blog, but she actually liked it enough to declare it (at Alt Summit of all places) an Up and Coming blog of 2012!

What?

(Read about it here!)

I am so surprised and flattered and excited! But, also, a little nervous?

Now, I consider myself to be a blog reading professional. I've been reading the best of the blogs for quite some time. But to be perfectly honest, other than uploading photos and writing little bits, I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to keeping my own blog. I mean, I spent 3 hours yesterday morning researching how to put two pictures side by side on blogger, and I still haven't figured it out. And I don't know if you've noticed, but I made my header in Paint, so...

The good news is that I like blogging, and I'm excited by it. And learning a thing or two about html stuff doesn't scare me that much.

So. Now I'd like to say a few things:

1. Thank you, Natalie. If I ever do see you in person, I will hug you. You have been so kind to me.

2. Hello new readers! How are you? I'm fine. Thanks for stopping by! I hope I don't bore you.

3. HI MOM! Are you seeing this?