this post contains Pocahontas lyrics.

I was flipping through the pictures on my phone recently, and ran across these photos again. 

I love 'em.

We were having a ball that night, feeling all giddy about this baby coming, and feeling confident that he would be healthy. And we're still giddy, and he is healthy.

But the reality of this little one is starting to kick in. Like most mothers-to-be, I think about it constantly. This is what my brain sounds like at all times:

"Is he okay? Oh he's kicking! Cute! Do I have enough onesies? What does he look like? What if he's colicky? Is he claustrophobic in there? OH CRAP, LABOR. How much fatter am I going to get? Is he okay in there? Cute, more kicking! What on earth is a nosefrida? I'm hungry. I'm emoooootionalll. I'M SO HOT. What if he sucks his thumb and gets buck teeth? I wish he'd come right now. No! I don't wish he'd come right now! More kicking! Aww. Baby, baby, baby, baby."

...

Do you see what I'm dealing with here?

More importantly, do you see what Ryan is dealing with here?

Which brings me to the point of this blog post: when I ran across the photos above, I started to worry about how things will be after this baby comes. Because, despite my baby-related hysteria, Ryan and I have a pretty good thing going on. We're really happy with our little life. We laugh a lot, we hug a lot, we do fun little things that make us happy to be husband and wife. So when I think about adding the scary, new, cluelessness of having a baby into the mix I think, whoa whoa, wait a minute Mr. Postman. I mean, I'm already a crazy pregnant lady. It'll probably only get worse once the baby arrives and I have to figure out how to keep him alive. I don't want it to get so bad that Ryan is afraid to come home from work every night.

The good thing is this: Ryan is steady. (As the steady beating druummm) ((there are your promised Pocahontas lyrics, thank you.)) Want to know how many times he's freaked out about having a baby? Zero. All he has to do is pat my knee and say, "Don't worry Amelia. The baby's fine. It's going to be fine," and my heart rate goes down, little by little. And, if I'm totally honest with myself, I know everything will be fine. I know it will be wonderful! I know that I have no idea how much we'll love this little boy. And based on the marriages of my sisters and parents, I'm fairly certain that the love between Ryan and I will only get better and stronger and happier. Even if I'm crazy.

Also, I'm going to take seriously the importance of date nights and a good babysitter. The end.

the time we went to Cedarburg and did not fight once

A long long long time ago, when Ryan and I were still wee college kids,

we took a day trip to Cedarburg, WI.

It was a Tuesday or something, I think.

And it was cold.

And we were trying so hard to have fun.

But it was cold, and we were both broke, and I'm pretty sure all the cute little shops were closed.

And we ended up fighting somewhere along the way, and drove back to campus in silence.

We laugh about it now, but.

It was a stupid day.

Well. Cedarburg got a second chance this past Saturday,

And I'm glad! Because guys! Cedarburg can be fun! I'll tell you why::

First we went to Amy's Candy Kitchen. Do you see that vent above the door in the photo below? It's a magical vent that blows steamy, sweet fumes into the atmosphere.

The doorway air is thick and warm and smells like buttery caramel. 

Ryan said it was a smell that could have made him sick if he sniffed too long.

But I could live in that doorway. I could.

The inside smells good too.

And then, when we left with our bag of peanut butter balls and chocolate meltaways, I took a bump picture. Because I was a happy woman.

Then we went to a meat market, where the lady clerk tried to get me to eat head cheese. (NO THANKS.) We bought two beef sticks, and Ryan was much more comfortable with the smell.

Do you see this face? This was after the beef sticks.

Other items of note:

-- We went to the cutest toy store that sold pretty blocks, old fashioned Golden Books, and nose flutes. A nose flute is like a kazoo, but you play it with your nose. A woman bought one while we were there, and the clerk said, "Just the nose flute today?" 

-- Ryan found the most perfect golf club at a thrift store for only a few bucks. But it was a lefty. It almost ruined the day. It still haunts him.

-- We went to a restaurant and ordered soup, and did not get saltines. But the guy that came in after us also ordered soup and he did get saltines? Minus one for you, Cedarburg.

World Renowned Genius Turns 24.

...was Ryan's suggestion for the title of this post.

The birthday celebrations have come and gone, and my guy is now a whole age older than me for exactly 25 days. We had a little party last night that consisted mostly of boys. Only Jackie and I were there to add some girlish charm. Somehow we all managed to squeeze into our tiny living room. Soup was on the menu-- my sister's Tomato Ravioli soup and one of my dad's favorites, Spinach Artichoke. Those burly men ate up most of the soup and I couldn't have been happier about it, because my half pint fridge certainly can't hold two giant stock pots. Let's be real.

We topped the evening off with a candlelit birthday cake and a little SNL on hulu. 

(Specifically this skit.)

Happy Birthday to you, sweet Ryan! I'm praying that this year brings you lots of blessings and happiness. And if I could, I'd knit you a sweater with an extra hole for your dreams and ideas. 

I love you.

weekend.

First of all: thank you so much to those who wrote such wonderful words about my baby's birth story. And thank you for your prayers! I feel so much better after writing that out and reading your comments. Ryan and I feel so loved.

Speaking of Ryan, it's his birthday on Monday! He's out with some dudes tonight, so I'm watching SNL and preparing for his party. The theme is:: woodgrain. The man likes carpentry and bears, so it seems like the only logical choice. Unfortunately, now that I'm actually looking at my decorations, it seems I'm planning this party for an eight-year-old girl? I may need to adjust some stuff.

Happy weekend to you all!

"each day is valentine's day"

...except not really.

it's not every day that i wake up extra early and make my lover boy 

heart-shaped food.

happy valentine's day, ryan.

i love you.

and happy valentine's day to you!