postpartum style and postpartum stuff

Madeline from Uber Chic for Cheap is doing an awesome series on her blog about Postpartum Style. Not too long ago, she asked me if I'd like to contribute and write a guest post about my postpartum experience. As soon as I opened the email from her I did a fist pump--it was so exciting. I have loads to say about how I felt after having a baby. I've actually been wanting to write about it here for a while, but I was never quite sure how to go about doing it. Writing for Madeline's series was a good way for me to sit down and think about what I wanted to say.

My hormones and I went through the ringer after I had Ralph. I've always thought of myself as a pretty level person, and besides my tendency to cry (I blame it on growing up with 4 other women in the house) I've always been in control of my emotions. I've always been aware of how I'm feeling, and why I'm feeling that way, you know? The first few weeks after giving birth were tough, and I expected all that. So when I felt anxious or moody or upset, it didn't concern me-- I was sure it was all due to lack of sleep. But those feelings continued for months, and I was becoming exhausted with myself. I was overwhelmed by everything. My new little life with Ralphie was so happy, and most days were good, but there was always something lurking, telling me that things were just a bit off. I don't think I was ever depressed, and I didn't have crazy emotional feelings all the time, but I certainly was going through something I had never dealt with before.

The transition between woman and mother is such a big one. My world was turned upside down when I had Ralph. I was learning how to live in an entirely different life, whether I liked it or not. I remember thinking so many times that I just wanted to feel myself again, which is a frustrating feeling when you no longer know who you are anymore. 

The good news is that I'm starting to figure it out again. Things have leveled off, thankfully, and I'm having more and more fun every day getting to know who I am as a mother. I like my life again, and not just the sweet, cute, chubby baby parts of it-- I like the housework and the chores and the errands. I like the quiet nights with Ryan, and the laughing in the kitchen when we make supper together, and the walks in the backyard. I like the days when I have a moment to paint my nails, or work on something I'm proud of, or make a craft, or read a magazine. I wake up in the morning feeling ready to start the day, instead of feeling overwhelmed-- and I like that feeling most of all.

You can read my postpartum style post on Madeline's wonderful blog HERE. If you happen to be an expecting mama, or a new mama, or a seasoned mama struggling through the same things I did, I hope some of my silly style tips help you. And a big fat THANK YOU to sweet Madeline, for asking me to write it, and for posting it-- I wasn't so sure she would after I sent it to her. It's a looooong post, practically a novel. I couldn't stop writing. It felt good.