4/10/13

We tried "crying it out" for naps today, and this is how it went:

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The number of:
  • times I let him cry it out: 3
  • times this method failed us today: 3
  • minutes I listened to him cry: 20 the first time, 40 the second time, mayyybe 2 the third time.
  • times I cried: 3
  • times Ralph's diaper leaked: 3 (whether it is due to today's bad luck, or needing to go a size up, is yet to be determined.)
  • times Ralph threw up on me: 1 (not spit up. Real, human pukes. It got allll up in mah hair.) 
  • minutes Ralph sat in a very still daze after throwing up: 6-7. (It's possible he has inherited my vomit phobia?)
  • outfit changes: between the both of us, 5
  • baths: between the both of us, 4
  • minutes Ralph actually napped today: 25, tops.
  • times we sang Mairzy Doats to try and cheer up: approximately 20
  • times I thought, "I AM BUYING ICE CREAM BEFORE THE DAY IS DONE.": 40. Maybe more.
  • times I kissed Ralph on his lips: countless (I think he's starting to understand!)
  • times I went to Target with baby barfs in my hair: just once, thankfully.
  • cartons of Ben and Jerry's purchased: 2
  • episodes of Mad Men about to be watched in 3,2,1: one
  • times we will try "crying it out" again in the near future: zero, zip, zilch

17 comments:

  1. love this! we tried the cry it out at one point, i think i did just as much crying as she did. i don't think the method ever worked for us, but eventually everyone did sleep.

    it will happen. enjoy your ice cream!

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    1. Yes! Eventually he will sleep. I need to remember this. :)

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  2. oh boy. we had a bad napping day too. of course it had to be bad gas which we didn't find out until 900pm and that was followed by explosive mess all over the blanket and husband. :)

    here's to a better day tomorrow.

    xo

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    1. Ooooohhh noooooo! I'm sorry Nicole, I laughed at this. Your poor husband.

      On days like that, I always wish I could show my 20-year-old self what was in store for my future. Like, "You're going to have an awful day full of messy dipes and lots of tears, but you're STILL going to like it." Makes me feel better. :)

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  3. haha! we tried the crying out method twice, both times i think i was crying harder than my little one ;)

    and poor little ralph! hope he feels better after throwing up! now go get some ice cream!

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    1. Isn't it so hard? Our poor babes!

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  4. Repeat after me:
    "It's just a phase" and "this too shall pass."

    I went through the panic with my first of feeling like I was "doing it wrong" because my baby didn't seem to be following the books/methods other people's babies were following. I tried several different methods and was in a panic because they didn't work. Eventually I just realized the best method was my own instincts and I went back to doing what we were doing from the start. Much happier baby and mama.

    I've also come to realize that poor sleep, while frustrating and exhausting, is usually not anything to worry about. Whenever a baby suddenly starts sleeping especially poorly, it's almost ALWAYS a phase and it WILL go back to normal eventually. Could be a growth spurt, teething, illness, or learning new skills which makes them excited and want to be awake. Is he around 4 months old, by chance? All 3 of my kids (and several friends kids) all started having terrible sleep problems around 4-5 months. I think it's because babies start doing a lot of new things at that age, like rolling over and trying their hardest to get places. My daughters would not go down for bed for the life of them at that age and my son liked to wake up suddenly wide awake in the middle of the night. Stay consistent, do whatever you can to get some sleep, and hang on, it'll be over soon! I love my ergo carrier. It usually gets my little ones to sleep when nothing else can. I may have to wear them their entire nap, but at least I get a mental break and can sometimes even type on the computer or do some chores, or even lay down for a nap on my back, etc. while they're sleeping in it on my chest.

    Sometimes Ev will fuss when I lay him in his crib after transferring him when he's asleep and I leave the room and go to the bathroom or do some other short task and during the few minutes I'm away he winds down his crying and falls asleep himself. I think this is a little bit of healthy "self-soothing." Same with not necessarily responding to every little whimper when he's only been asleep for 20 minutes to see if he'll fall back asleep. But I think any crying that has you out in the hallway crying yourself because it's carrying on THAT LONG is really unnecessary. Baby probably needs you. Go with your instincts, tend to him, and revisit self-soothing another time.

    For the record, I instinct-nurtured my kids to sleep every single time (other than the frustrating time I tried crying it out once when Eisley was a baby) and I did not ruin any of them. Both Eisley and Ellis were nursed to sleep every time until they gently night weaned and then they were rocked or ergo'd or sung or cuddled to sleep. At age 1 and age 3 they have a great and easy bedtime routine where I tuck them in, say prayers, sing to them in their room and wait for about ten minutes while they settle down, and then leave and they're 99% of the time asleep. They sleep through the night just fine (barring occasional nightmares or getting up to go potty) and do not keep us up all night because we didn't make them cry it out as babies. Ev still takes most of his naps in the ergo thanks to noisy older sisters but he takes one good one every day in his crib and only wakes 1-2 times per night to nurse. No crying it out here, and I didn't ruin them! They just go through phases. Respond as your heart is telling you to respond and you can't go wrong. That little guy won't be a baby for long. They grow up incredibly quickly!

    Sorry this was long. Hopefully somewhat encouraging?

    If not, watch this, it's spot on :) :
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sw3bG8SrCM4
    (Portlandia: books on parenting on Youtube)

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    1. Amber this was awesome! Thank you. I soaked all that info up like a sponge. You seem to be doing such a great job as a mama, so your advice is always welcome!

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  5. Oh, he is so cute! And I can sympathize with you, mama. Crying it out didn't work for us - caused waaay more anxiety than it was worth. So we did things our way and he learned to be a champ sleeper (like, eight months later, but without trauma to either of us!) As always, I love your humor about the situation :) Ice cream and Mad Men will soothe the soul

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  6. Amelia, sounds like I may be one of the few mommmas on here who this worked for. BUT we did it only a little at a time during the night, not for naps, she seems to nap fine on her own. It was soooo hard and heart-breaking the first couple nights, but she was so happy and cheerful and seems to love us the same if not more after she got the sleep she needed. And she would only cry for ten minutes, once it was 20 because we went in and checked in too. Now she only cries a minute or two and then quiets and falls asleep talking to herself or just laying there and pretty quickly.

    BUT WE ONLY did this when we KNOW she isn't in a wet diaper, isn't hungry at all, and isn't sick or needing us in that manner. ....and you know your baby well enough that you know when something is up or wrong, and based off of their day if they aren't feeling well or aren't acting normal. ALso we get to know the cry as I am sure you have :)

    SOunds like you won't be trying the cry it out method again soon, which is up to you and I have to say I tried it one week and waited two or three before I did again :) Every momma and baby are different.

    Finally this may be nothing at all, cause I am just looking at it from a glimpse here, but Ralph is holding his ear in one picture above and it made me think of Ellamae, because she didn't show any sign of ear infection like a fever, or fussiness, but only held her ear a couple times, and we took her in and she had one. (Actually does again:( But I just thought I would mention it too because another sign I know is not sleeping well while laying down flat because of the pressure. So if Ralph is crying a lot in the crib lately or tugging his ear....maybe it could be an ear infection.
    Like I said EVERY child is different and I am just looking at it from a glimpse,
    and Amelia, I second guess myself all the time and cry a lot too, motherhood is the hardest thing ever!!!!!!but most rewarding too :) I liked what was said above this too shall pass. love you all.

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    1. Wendi--- Your comments are the best! I love them.

      Both of my sisters said crying it out worked for them and their babies too, and they were cheering me on all day. So, I know it must work for some babies! Ralph has been a terrible napper since 3 months, and I think it was a bad idea for me to try crying it out cold turkey. I think I might start it up again, gradually, and see if it gets better.

      Also, thank you thank you thank you for the ear advice! Ralph started tugging on his ear at the same time his two teeth came in, so we thought it was the result of teething, since he didn't have a fever or fussiness. But he still tugs on it from time to time, so I'm taking your advice and called the Dr this morning. I'm just waiting for a call back, now. :) I'll let you know if your momma instincts were right! Love you.

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  7. Cry it out method totally sucks. I never could do it either. The swaddle was the only thing that ever worked to sleep train my kids. Good luck! Ralph is seriously the cutest.

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    1. Thanks Hannah! I WISH swaddling worked for him, because it's just the cutest thing ever. But he hated that, too. He's picky, my Ralph. :)

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  8. Ugh. We tried the crying it out once {on the advice of my well-meaning sister}, and it was the worst experience ever. So terrible. I felt like I was torturing my daughter. Poor baby.

    BUT a few months later we tried the Ferber method, and that totally worked for us, like magic. So there's that unsolicited bit of almost-advice. {But of course, do whatever feels best for the two of you - you don't need me to tell you that.}

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    1. Checking out the Ferber method right now. Thanks, Mary! xoxo.

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  9. i know where you are coming from this whole napping thing is hard--sometimes ava naps like an angel and other times it is a war zone over here.

    i have just given up and decided to listen to my gut, she is happy most of the time and that is all that matters right.

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