2/18/13

IMG_2177

Someone recently commented on one of  my posts and questioned why I only showed photos of the left side of Ralphie's face. I know I've mentioned Ralphie's little birthmarks here before, but I haven't gone into any detail about them. This commenter wanted to know if the birthmark on his cheek was a sensitive issue for me, and in a way, asked if I was trying to hide it.

And it made me feel so sad.

Because the last thing I want to do is come across as ashamed or embarrassed of my baby. The truth is, there's a little bit more to it than just a tiny round birthmark on his cheek. 

Let's start here: Ralph has not just one, but five birthmarks. They're called strawberry birthmarks (hemangioma is the medical term.) They usually appear on babies around 3-4 weeks of age, grow rapidly until around 6 months, and then gradually fade away, most of the time leaving behind no mark. Usually, by the time the child is 2 or 3 years old, the birthmark is completely gone. They're painless, harmless, and fairly common. But because of the number of Ralphie's birthmarks (five, instead of the usual one or two) and the location of some of them, there's a greater risk for other, more serious complications in the future. Ralph's doctors have told me that the chances of these complications are slight. But they're there. And that's the part I've been struggling with.

I know that having a blog means I share a whole bunch of stupid stuff going on in my life with a lot of people I don't know. But I sure don't have to share everything, especially the parts about my baby's medical issues. I've been writing this post in my head for a long time, going back and forth, trying to figure out which parts to share on my blog, and which parts to keep private. Ralph's birthmarks and the way they look aren't a big deal to me. I love them. But, like I said, there's more to it than just a few birthmarks and I was waiting to share that part on my blog until I had the right words and more information. The thing is, I'm afraid that while I've been figuring this out, I've come across as secretive or ashamed of Ralph's birthmarks to some of you.

So, are his birthmarks a sensitive issue for me? No, not really. Of course, I'll admit that it was alarming to watch them grow so rapidly over his perfect newborn skin. I fretted over them, and there were days where I worried over what people would say. I don't anymore. Am I ashamed or embarrassed over them? No. No no no, not ever ever ever. I love every inch of my baby. 

Duh. Who wouldn't.
IMG_2715

27 comments:

  1. That birthmark on his cheek looks like the perfect spot for smooches. I'd kiss that little face all day long if I were you! He looks perfect to me.

    You handled this situation beautifully.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Spoken like the wonderful mommy you are. :)

    I can't help but like every photo you post on instagram- it all exudes complete love and utter adoration.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very well said! He's precious and his birthmark makes him more unique. My cousin had one like that right in the middle of his forehead for awhile- it did go away eventually and there's no evidence it was ever there. Keep snapping pictures of this sweet boy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's funny how, after Ralph's birthmarks appeared, so many people told me about having one or know someone who did. They're so common!

      Delete
  4. First I have to say I think it is horrible that someone would even ask you anything like that. Really none of their business. You are a bigger person than me. Your words were perfect. But again so unnecessary.

    ReplyDelete
  5. How great to know that God doesn't make mistakes!

    "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

    Ralph is beautiful child of God, birthmarks and all!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I hadn't even noticed you were only photographing one side... Either way, he's seriously so unbelievably cute.

    ReplyDelete
  7. i think he is is unbelievably adorable birth marks and all.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The perfect post. Sorry to hear you got such a stinky and assuming comment. More and more lately I dislike how the internet provides people with a way to make any kind of a remark and NOT have to deal with the effect it may have on others (texts, tweets, facebook, emails, etc). Usually these remarks are so hurtful that no one would ever have the guts to say them to your face, either. You certainly didn't owe anyone an explanation about any of this, that's for sure! BUT! You should know that since you felt you should, I think you nailed it.
    I love your blog! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  9. The more I thought about this the more angry I became. What a gift from God you have!!! I love Angela's passage, one of my favorites.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I read the original comment and actually didn't think the woman was rude (at least certainly not intentionally). In fact the comment was from the mother of a baby with birth marks sharing how she loves and embraces all of her child's features.

    Regardless of WHY you decided to finally share, I'm glad you did. Little Ralph is perfect in every way. I'm sure everyone who follows your blog will pray that he is perfectly healthy all the years of his happy life :)

    As usual, your photos are gorgeous.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, I don't think she meant to be rude either. It wasn't her comment that made me sad, it was the fact that it seemed I had possibly come across to her (and maybe others) as embarrassed of Ralphie. I wanted to clear THAT up right away.

      Delete
  11. Amelia, in the way you write about Raphlie and seeing you with him, your love is obvious and the last thing you appear to be is ashamed or embarrassed. You are a great mom and Ralph is utterly perfect. I mean look at that sweet face!! :) Speaking of that face give him a kiss for Ellamae ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Wendi! You're always so sweet and encouraging. We love you guys and that chubby Ellamae.

      Delete
  12. I never noticed you showing only one side of Ralphie's face! Maybe I'm just not very observant.. For what it's worth, I'd never peg you as someone who'd be ashamed of something like that, anyway. I can be a super worrier when it comes to Ollie, I think it's a hormone thing, or something. Ollie has a dimple on his lower back which is apparently a marker for spinal cord problems, lucky for me his doctors somehow didn't notice it until his 12 month checkup (and he could walk by then), so we got to skip all the worrying and testing. I was pretty upset after that appointment though. I noticed his crooked little butt crack the day he was born but apparently the doctors just didn't? Anyway.. I'm glad Ralphie's doctors want to keep an eye on him, it's good to have doctors who actually care and notice things like that :) He's a cutie!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ralph has a crooked butt crack too! His pediatrician isn't worried about it at all, but the dermatologist thinks he has a slight chance of having a tethered spinal cord, so she wants him to have an MRI when he's six months. The whole thing makes me super anxious, even though I'm sure he's fine. Anyway, I know what you mean about worrying. It's got to be hormones, because I can tell I'm being irrational, but I can't stop. Ha ha.

      Delete
    2. For what it's worth, I had a crooked butt crack when I was born too :)

      Delete
  13. You are the sweetest mom. I can tell you love your little one soooo much!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I totally understand how you feel. When Max and Maggie were born, they were in the NICU for two weeks, their tiny skinny bodies hooked up to wires all over. They were so precious to me, and I was so incredibly proud of them for their amazing growth and progress and survival, and it was all too personal for me to share with the internet. I was too worried about them, my heart was too open. OF COURSE I wasn't ashamed of them, I wasn't hiding them, I felt like I was protecting all of us. Of course you couldn't be ashamed of sweet Ralphie! He's a dream baby, and no mistake.

    ReplyDelete
  15. he is perfect! I would have never noticed unless you had posted this. my little girl was born with a tiny red pinch at the small of her back (which we needed to keep an eye on), but now is fading... it is so sad to see it fade away. i have photos of it to remind us.

    ReplyDelete
  16. With a birthmark or without - he is lovely, cute and very beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  17. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  18. he is just simply perfect! my son has a mark on his face (from a nasty infection he got when he was 8 months old) and my MOTHER comments on it all the time...i'm always like, so what? he just looks like he's blushing and it looks perfect to me :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Your son is beautiful! My daughter has a strawberry hemangioma too. It's on her tummy and it's shaped like a heart! It's part of what makes her beautiful and unique, and honestly I think I will miss it if and when it disappears one day.

    ReplyDelete